I went out tonight for the first time since Jon passed. We went out to old town, got dressed up and walked around enjoying the summer night. I wore a dress that I bought in the spring with hopes of wearing it on a warm summer date night. All around me were memories. It was as if I was walking through a dream.
Every where we went I could close my eyes and invision us walking arm in arm. Down this street is the coffee shop where we used to drink lattes and talk. Here is the art gallery where you found out about our shared loved of photography and you spoke of the summer when we could grab a couple of your cameras and hike up into the mountains. These are the sidewalks were I taught you what side you should walk on. There is the bench where we sat and debated for hours.
This town is too small for our memories. Every piece of the landscape, everything reminds me of you. It's so painful to walk your past in the present when presently you can no longer create memories like the past.
I know I shouldn't make any big decisions for awhile, but tonight leaves me wondering how long I should stay? I'm not sure this town is big enough to create a new future without marring it with constant reminders of the past.
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