Chess

Last night it hit me again
Anger, anguish, animosity
At God, at life, at myself
Didn't I deserve this happiness, didn't he?

Is my life a trivial game of chess?
Devil and God on opposites sides of my board.
Moving my pieces, sharing small talk as they play...
Is there a strategy?
Does God have a trick up his sleeve?
Is it Checkmate in three moves?

How I wish to make meaning out of the last moves.
I fail to understand the game, somehow I've lost the playbook.
I'm down to pawns, racing to the other side.
Each move getting closer.
Hoping to reach the last square on the board.

Not sure what to ask for
Not sure how to win
Looking for guidance
Looking for a sign
Looking for a way out of confusion

Praying my pawns will prevail...