Grey Day

Dear Jon,

Your house is almost complete and I feel no sense of accomplishment. These last few weeks have been arduous, but at least they've offered a distraction. Now that it is coming to an end, I'm left with unrest. Agitated, yet know not how to quell my anger. I'm itching to run, yet can't seem to find my shoes. I'm afraid of the dark, yet can't seem to find the switch. I long for different, yet find myself surrounded by sameness.

My life is a vacuum,and I'm just waiting foot poised on the power button, daring myself to step down and let life take it's course. There is no rhyme or reason to life for me today. No intentions, no direction, just a vast landscape of faults, afflictions, and mountains to climb. I've thrown away my backpack and spare rations. My compass got tangled up in some branches a couple miles back. It's raining, I'm soaked, and I could care less.

I don't want to find my way home...there is no home. Home is just a fallacy we create in our head so that we don't feel alone. So that we, as human, feel connected to one another. I don't need comfort. I don't need connection. I don't need. I don't want. I don't care. I don't...today.

I'M SO DONE